i hate myself. i hate the decisions i've made. i hate how i look. i hate the fact that i hate myself. i hate that i smoke. i hate that i didn't know what i wanted to do with my life until just recently. i hate that i am not 100% sure if thats what i want to do for a career. i hate that i never took voice lessons. i hate that i can't afford the music stuff i want. i hate michigan winters. i hate that i have white hairs. i hate going to sleep alone every night. i hate not being happy. i hate feeling like an unaccomplished loser. i hate to talk to people who have their lives 'together'. i hate crying. i hate not having a family. i hate how much time i've wasted. i hate how i know i'll waste even more year after year. i hate that i'd rather play a video game instead of read a book. i hate that i have to learn by doing, instead of just thinking. i hate that i feel i am stupid. i hate getting up in the morning. i hate that i dread going to bed because then the morning gets here faster. i hate being tired all day because i stay up too late. i hate that i can't figure out a way to be or come up with "the next big idea or thing" and make money just by being or doing that. i hate looking in the mirror. i hate my clothes. i hate that i can't be organized no matter how hard i try or pretend i am. i hate that i let people down. i hate that im stubborn. i hate .......
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Mike . . .I hate all this stuff for you too, because I think you are so amazing and talented. I know that you are just venting (I thought I was reading my own thoughts when I first started reading this!), and I will allow you to do that, it is healthy and needs to be done. But only for a little while. . .then you need to pick yourself up and keep going. Can I risk saying take the focus off of you and put it on God? . . .we are all just 'blind men, simply waiting to see'. I love ya, think the world of ya, and I support you! XOXOXO
ReplyDeleteHate is a strong word.....the truth about what you have written is in fact a reality to just about every person that has ever lived. I myself have listed everything you did and more. We as human beings are never satisfied until we accept that we will never have everything we want. Only then can we make a decision on certain aspects of our life and be satisfied for the time being. Add up the good things and subtract the bad. Life is about attitude, faith and open-mindness. JUST LOVE.
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