why, Yes!

I am sitting at gate 71 and watching people as they walk by frantically searching for things, kids, restaurants or bathrooms.  SO many people.  i like to watch their faces and see what emotion they are feeling at the moment.  obviously 90% of them are focused, mostly blank stares.  except for the faces on the kids which are almost always glowing with excitement.  as i write this i stopped to watch a little girl frolic down the walkway.  her parents couldn't possibly walk fast enough to their gate.  she can't wait to get on the plane.  i understand that we as adults have much more to worry about when traveling and most of the time it is a troublesome necessity.  i also like to pretend i know exactly what that persons life is like.  mainly by the clothes they wear and how they interact with others.  that lead me to think about how I appear to others by the way i look or interact with others.  i am not the most patient person on the planet.... at all, in fact.  especially when i am delayed due to somebody else's mistakes or incompetence.  i actually go from calm to bomb in .5 seconds.  my face shows it.  my words say it.  i want people to remember me as being a happy guy who was always smiling and didn't sweat the small stuff.  kept his cool.  made the best of each situation.  this kind of reminds me of the movie Yes Man.  where Jim Carrey's character decides to say YES to every question no matter what the consequences may be.  not saying that we should all go do illegal or immoral things just because we were asked, but i think you get the idea.  more of a "go with the flow" kind of attitude.  it almost forces you to be less selfish.  people might begin to think you are reliable and trustworthy.  i am going to start using this word more often than it's opposite.  

put it in your pipe

i am in Blaine, MN waiting for the end of our first session today.  we flew in on saturday and set up on sunday.  after set up we all went to the bar to watch the Lions take down the Buccaneers.  the food there was fantastic.  i ordered a Pot Roast Sandwich that was awesome.  had pot roast, onion, carrot, onion strings and horseradish mayo on a toasted hoagie.  mm... the juices were soaked up in the hoagie and it was delish.  this was a difficult test for me though.  not eating, because i assure you that i do not need any testing for that! :)  but after the meal and because we were enjoying some drinks it was difficult to turn down the offer of a smoke.  it is simply because of the habit of smoking after meals or during drinks and NOT because i have an addiction to it.  i had no problem saying no however i DID step outside for the conversation while my co workers partook of their smokey treats.  it has been 10days since my last cig and i feel pretty good.  Sept. 1 was my goal to stop, however it ended up being the 3rd.  BUT THAT'S OKAY!  it still happened.  with the increase of tobacco tax and the 'amazing health benefits' of smoking i decided to finally put it out.  i also just got tired of waking up congested and feeling like crap.  having to hack my way through the morning and blow my nose every minute.... ugh.  i feel much better.  also i am planning on getting into a regular routine of running.  so obviously the smoking needed to stop.  it's all part of working towards a healthier me.  

small, steady steps and sticking to it wins the race.  i'll see you at the finish line.

...off guard

thoughts collide like bumper cars and slowly burn away.
and when the smoke clears... who are you now?
steal away like thief in night with my emotions in tow.
and when the fuel is gone... where are you now?
cut me down with every word and send me on my way.
and when the blood dries... what are you now?

... funny the way it is

i am currently sitting backstage amongst all my electrical goodies while the people on the other side of the curtain are tinkering with the cars.  i am sitting in a metal folding chair that likes to squeal when it slides on the floor.  i forget this regularly so i actually wrote it on a piece of tape and stuck it to the table right in front of where i sit.  hey, whatever it takes… right?  i have to work with 5 product trainers all day every day.  they are nice people, however the honeymoon phase has come and gone and the claws came out.  they seem to bicker to each other, about each other.  they have cute little nick names for each other and nobody really likes the one given them.  it's almost like a backhanded compliment.  seems nice on the front but there is a sneaky little nugget of "gotchya" tagged on the end.  we are all adults here.  well… supposedly.  

the hotel here in Overland Park, KS is quite nice.  (Towne Place Suites by Marriott)  also helps that the girls who work the front desk are super nice, OH and gorgeous.  the bed in my room is fantastic unlike most hotels, and i have a full kitchen with dishes and two closets.  there are a ton of restaurants and stores in very closet proximity.  i got excited when i first saw the hotel because i saw a park RIGHT BEHIND the hotel.  ends up it is a golf course.  can't go hang out there.  boo…

lately i have been expanding my circle of friends.  i have met some wonderful new people and also rekindled old friendships with a few people i haven't seen in a handful of years.  it is always interesting to catch up with old friends and hear their life experiences.  the 20s are a very interesting time in peoples lives because major decisions are made.

life is funny sometimes.  situations come and go and i can just sit back and laugh at the irony of timing.  when i want things to happen, they don't.  when i finally decide to focus my attention on something else it seems that life FINALLY works out the way it was supposed to….. a little while ago.  too late.  always too late.  i thought that we are supposed to be aggressive and proactive towards things we desire out of life, yet i find it is almost a deterrent for the journey.  as if the more we dig towards our treasure we are really just getting further away from it.  then that one time we finally stop and say, "screw it, im just gunna ride it out"  things seem to just fall into place.  weird.  backwards.  life.