November 10, 2011


I am finally getting back to my blog again and apologize for the week of silence.  My schedule has been quite busy lately and I have simply been too tired to stay up and write after I get back from dinner each night.  This week has become the Goliath of the tour so far.  We started off this week setting up in Houston, TX this past Sunday followed by two days of shows.  After the final show on Tuesday we broke down all the equipment and began loading the semi-trailer in the dark.  Everything was going well until it started pouring rain making the ramps VERY slippery and coworkers frustrated.  One of our team members, Marco was injured while some of the other guys were loading the ramps into the truck.  His ankle got bumped into pretty good and got pretty swollen.  He rode in my rental van with a few other team members as we left Houston to drive to Dallas that night.  We got to the hotel around 11:45pm and settled in.  Marco hobbled to his room which was right next to mine.  Wednesday morning we left the hotel lobby at 8:45 and made the 2 minute drive to the Texas Motor Speedway to set up all of our gear, meanwhile Marco went to the clinic and got checked out.  Good news that he just bruised it and there is no major damage because he is a good worker and a fun guy to have around.  We finished setting up all the gear and headed back to the hotel.  A few of us needed to make a laundry run so we headed towards Keller, TX and found a nice laundromat to clean our nasty ass skivvies.  This was my very first time in a laundromat and I must say, it was a nice experience.  I was informed that this pleasantness was a rarity and not to expect the same at the next place.  We finished drying our garments and departed on a mission for food.  We ended up at a place called Up In Smoke.  Obviously from the name they serve smoked meats and goodies of the sort.  The food was pretty good and apparently the women's bathroom was quite interesting.  I am going on the word of the females here and not from personal experience.  We licked our plates and paid our bills and headed back to the hotel.  All in all the tour is going well and I have enjoyed the people i work with.  

October 28, 2011

but what does it all mean, basil?

"Where did you go you stupid thing?", i stammered as i frantically began to search under and behind all the furniture in my room.

i love sleeping.  there are many nights where i don't sleep very well even though i am tired and worn out from the day's activities.  other days i can sleep in for hours and wake up feeling more tired than i did when i fell asleep.  falling asleep with someone in my arms is one of the best feelings in the world.  breathing rhythmically as we fall asleep and waking up hoping the other person doesn't smell our breath before we brush.

now i'd like you to think about some of the dreams you have had throughout your life.  we all have those weird ones that we have remembered over the years because they were so abstract.  maybe you remember dreams that involved significant people in your life.  have you ever had a dream about someone who has passed away?  it is very interesting to experience a dream like that.  most of my dreams of passed family members are as if they were simply in the background and i have had a few where they have talked to me about something.  waking up was a weird feeling.  i have laid in bed for an hour after waking up, simply trying to remember the entire conversation in the dream and interpreting what it meant.  it is quite interesting to say the least.

what about a recurring dream?  stop reading for a second and think about what it was, who or what was in it and where it takes place.  now don't go assuming im a dream interpreter or that i follow all of that stuff, however i do believe that our minds are very complex and capable of great things.  when we are asleep our minds are free to roam and explore the infinity that is our imagination.

almost 11years ago, when i was 18yrs old, i had my first "encounter" with this dream.

i woke up suddenly with the feeling that something was on my chest.  like a small weight of some sort.  as i moved to sit up something scurried off of me and crawled up the wall disappearing into the dark corner of the ceiling.  i thought it was a weird experience and went back to sleep shortly thereafter.  i do not remember the second time it happened or what the date was but i know it was the exact same experience.  the third time it happened the creature crawled across the wall and down to the floor instead of up toward the ceiling.  i quickly jumped out of bed and turned on my light."Where did you go you stupid thing?", i stammered as i frantically began to search under and behind all the furniture in my room.  i had grown tired of the same dream and waking up feeling this hand sized spider like creature on top of my chest and face.

i had looked up many interpretations of dreams involving spiders and apparently there are quite a lot of people who have spider dreams and even recurring spider dreams.  most of the websites out there say that a dream about spiders on your body mean that there is a strong fear in your life at the moment.  when the spider is on your face it shows that you are feeling complacent and afraid of making big changes in life.

this makes a lot of sense with me.

not that i remember exactly where my life was when i had each of these dreams but i know i've had it about 16 or so times.  so i've decided the next time i have that dream again i will take a moment and write down where i am in life and what my emotions are.  it may take a handful of years to see a pattern but it would be interesting to say the least.

October 27, 2011

never take friendship personal

one of the reasons why i haven't blogged in a while is because i knew exactly what i needed to write about and i have been dreading it.  this blog will be difficult for me to write.  i recently lost a friend of mine.  we were best friends for the past nine years and had been through thick and thin together.  we shared the same passions in life and knew each other better than anyone else could.  we cried together and laughed all the time.  he was somebody that i would have died for if need be.  i had defended him at all costs and trusted him with my life.  it breaks my heart to say that i have lost him.  don't worry he isn't dead, he destroyed our friendship.

i have always had the idea that i have surrounded myself with trustworthy people.  i put up plenty of barriers between others and myself and don't really need another reason to put up more.  these walls have caused many hard times in my relationships with girls as well.  i am a frustrating individual.  i know that.  that is why it means SO much when i allow you beyond those walls.  it is quite the risk for me.  it's like a roll of the dice with the rest of your money on the line.  i don't want people to be able to shake my world up, i don't want them to have that power, that control over me.  it scares me to be honest with you.  i only have one heart and would prefer it to stay in one piece for as long as possible.

i always thought that i chose decent girls to date.  in fact i don't just let anyone into my life.  sure i have many female acquaintances but very few who REALLY know me emotionally.  being vulnerable scares me.  so girls, if you ever get beyond my emotional walls it means i truly trust you.

several weeks ago i discovered that my best friend of nine years had slept with my ex-girlfriend (while we were dating).  a friend of mine had told me a few things to watch out for and i denied it and defended my best friend.  because that's what best friends do.  even though this person had a pretty valid point i stuck up for my best friend and said that i would trust him with my life.  because that's what best friends do.  a few weeks had passed and i had this feeling in my stomach.  i just knew something was weird so i asked my ex-girlfriend over chat, and it all came out in the wash.  i confronted my ex-best friend over text (for fear of going to jail for assault if i saw him in person).  sure enough, he admitted to it.  he kept apologizing saying, "it was an addiction that i kicked in july.  i can honestly say i am free from it."  i wasn't aware that betrayal was an addiction.  nine years of my life wasted on someone who would betray me for a few "rounds" with my girlfriend at the time.  not to mention my girlfriend... classy dame she turned out to be.  young and stupid i guess.  ugh.... it sucks because even though we weren't dating i still cared for her as a person.  not so much any more. that's just something i never thought would happen to me.  my girlfriend cheating?  that would never happen to me!  my best friend betraying me?  that would never happen to me!  both of them happening at the same time???? HA!

well thank you ex-best friend and ex-girlfriend for strengthening my emotional barriers THAT much more.  thank you for making it THAT much more difficult for the next girlfriend and friends who have to work even harder to gain my trust.  thank you for showing me that those closest to me can't be trusted at all.

wednesday morning i flew from pittsburgh to chicago and i slept most of the flight.  well, all except for the five minutes i was fighting tears while the thought of losing my best friend this way haunted my mind.  it is not as frequent as it used to be but im not sure it will ever go away.  i've never been so broken as i was that day.  it just hurt.  i am moving on.  i have forgiven both of them but removed them from my life.  i don't care what they are doing these days or for the rest of their lives.  i hope i never see them again and wish we didn't have the same friends.

i truly have lost most of my trust in other people.  sorry if i come off rude or cold.... that's just the way it will be for a while.

thanks, friend... thanks for wasting nine years of my life.

September 18, 2011

why, Yes!

I am sitting at gate 71 and watching people as they walk by frantically searching for things, kids, restaurants or bathrooms.  SO many people.  i like to watch their faces and see what emotion they are feeling at the moment.  obviously 90% of them are focused, mostly blank stares.  except for the faces on the kids which are almost always glowing with excitement.  as i write this i stopped to watch a little girl frolic down the walkway.  her parents couldn't possibly walk fast enough to their gate.  she can't wait to get on the plane.  i understand that we as adults have much more to worry about when traveling and most of the time it is a troublesome necessity.  i also like to pretend i know exactly what that persons life is like.  mainly by the clothes they wear and how they interact with others.  that lead me to think about how I appear to others by the way i look or interact with others.  i am not the most patient person on the planet.... at all, in fact.  especially when i am delayed due to somebody else's mistakes or incompetence.  i actually go from calm to bomb in .5 seconds.  my face shows it.  my words say it.  i want people to remember me as being a happy guy who was always smiling and didn't sweat the small stuff.  kept his cool.  made the best of each situation.  this kind of reminds me of the movie Yes Man.  where Jim Carrey's character decides to say YES to every question no matter what the consequences may be.  not saying that we should all go do illegal or immoral things just because we were asked, but i think you get the idea.  more of a "go with the flow" kind of attitude.  it almost forces you to be less selfish.  people might begin to think you are reliable and trustworthy.  i am going to start using this word more often than it's opposite.  

September 12, 2011

put it in your pipe

i am in Blaine, MN waiting for the end of our first session today.  we flew in on saturday and set up on sunday.  after set up we all went to the bar to watch the Lions take down the Buccaneers.  the food there was fantastic.  i ordered a Pot Roast Sandwich that was awesome.  had pot roast, onion, carrot, onion strings and horseradish mayo on a toasted hoagie.  mm... the juices were soaked up in the hoagie and it was delish.  this was a difficult test for me though.  not eating, because i assure you that i do not need any testing for that! :)  but after the meal and because we were enjoying some drinks it was difficult to turn down the offer of a smoke.  it is simply because of the habit of smoking after meals or during drinks and NOT because i have an addiction to it.  i had no problem saying no however i DID step outside for the conversation while my co workers partook of their smokey treats.  it has been 10days since my last cig and i feel pretty good.  Sept. 1 was my goal to stop, however it ended up being the 3rd.  BUT THAT'S OKAY!  it still happened.  with the increase of tobacco tax and the 'amazing health benefits' of smoking i decided to finally put it out.  i also just got tired of waking up congested and feeling like crap.  having to hack my way through the morning and blow my nose every minute.... ugh.  i feel much better.  also i am planning on getting into a regular routine of running.  so obviously the smoking needed to stop.  it's all part of working towards a healthier me.  

small, steady steps and sticking to it wins the race.  i'll see you at the finish line.

September 9, 2011 guard

thoughts collide like bumper cars and slowly burn away.
and when the smoke clears... who are you now?
steal away like thief in night with my emotions in tow.
and when the fuel is gone... where are you now?
cut me down with every word and send me on my way.
and when the blood dries... what are you now?

September 8, 2011

... funny the way it is

i am currently sitting backstage amongst all my electrical goodies while the people on the other side of the curtain are tinkering with the cars.  i am sitting in a metal folding chair that likes to squeal when it slides on the floor.  i forget this regularly so i actually wrote it on a piece of tape and stuck it to the table right in front of where i sit.  hey, whatever it takes… right?  i have to work with 5 product trainers all day every day.  they are nice people, however the honeymoon phase has come and gone and the claws came out.  they seem to bicker to each other, about each other.  they have cute little nick names for each other and nobody really likes the one given them.  it's almost like a backhanded compliment.  seems nice on the front but there is a sneaky little nugget of "gotchya" tagged on the end.  we are all adults here.  well… supposedly.  

the hotel here in Overland Park, KS is quite nice.  (Towne Place Suites by Marriott)  also helps that the girls who work the front desk are super nice, OH and gorgeous.  the bed in my room is fantastic unlike most hotels, and i have a full kitchen with dishes and two closets.  there are a ton of restaurants and stores in very closet proximity.  i got excited when i first saw the hotel because i saw a park RIGHT BEHIND the hotel.  ends up it is a golf course.  can't go hang out there.  boo…

lately i have been expanding my circle of friends.  i have met some wonderful new people and also rekindled old friendships with a few people i haven't seen in a handful of years.  it is always interesting to catch up with old friends and hear their life experiences.  the 20s are a very interesting time in peoples lives because major decisions are made.

life is funny sometimes.  situations come and go and i can just sit back and laugh at the irony of timing.  when i want things to happen, they don't.  when i finally decide to focus my attention on something else it seems that life FINALLY works out the way it was supposed to….. a little while ago.  too late.  always too late.  i thought that we are supposed to be aggressive and proactive towards things we desire out of life, yet i find it is almost a deterrent for the journey.  as if the more we dig towards our treasure we are really just getting further away from it.  then that one time we finally stop and say, "screw it, im just gunna ride it out"  things seem to just fall into place.  weird.  backwards.  life. 

August 19, 2011

...drag horse bag

we got to do our presentation at Retama Park in Selma, Texas.  Selma is not known for anything except for the horse racing at Retama Park.  this was my first time at a horse track and i must say, it is pretty neat.  i got to watch the trainers work on the horses around the track every day.  it was also VERY hot.  before i left for texas i had multiple people tell me, "oh don't worry, texas is a dry heat."  ..... funny.  averaging temps of 108 while i was there and humid as can be.  worse than any humidity i've experienced in michigan, ever.  at 6am i walked out of the hotel room and was surprised that it was still dark outside.  and that i was instantly soaked from sweating.  ugh.  walking to the car was annoying.  OH, forgot to mention that the main room of our show was NOT air conditioned.  but don't mind me, i'll just sit over in my little "oven-like" corner amongst the three laptops, one reference monitor and dual audio rack filled with amps and whatnot.  it is easily ten degrees warmer where i have to hang out.  we got it done though.  take the good cities with the bad i guess.  i also got a chance to drive the Chevy Volt on the closed course out in the parking lot.  it handles remarkably well.  pretty good acceleration and comfortable to drive.  it totally blows the Toyota Prius out of the water.  too bad it's 40K, and you can get a standard camero for that price.  

our drive team consists of several professional drivers who judge and enter drifting and racing competitions.  pretty cool stuff if you ask me.  just don't ask the rental cars they choose.  those usually end up on a make-shift drifting track until the tires can't take anymore.  and i mean literally, sometimes i wonder how they even get them back to the airport on the rubberbands that are left on them.

i just bought some new luggage from amazon.  a rolling duffle bag-like piece.  my current one is 10yrs old and starting to come apart.  plus it's always nice to have something new.  a little self spoiling never hurt anyone.  OH YEAH, and i can write it off come tax time.  bitchin.

the last few days that i have been home after san antonio i have been writing some acoustic stuff.  got a few good progressions and ideas for songs.  very excited about them actually.  

i also have been looking into what it would take to become a cop and hopefully later a homicide detective.  i was stuck on the idea that i needed a criminal justice degree before i could even get started.  well, that's not true.  in fact a friend told me that experience is everything and to simply go to academy and get started.  another friend suggested i try to get into the oakland county jail and work there for a few years THEN go to academy.  because they'll pay for it!  sounds good to me.   there's a waiting list.  so.... we'll see.

which brings me to my next point.....  gotta love a good segue.

i have to learn to love running.... this might be the most difficult thing i've ever done.  it is the fastest way to drop weight and tone up.  damn food... tastes so good.

so i'll keep you updated on my progress... if any! :)

if you have any ideas or tips on how to "enjoy" running please let me know.  i REALLY want this to work.  i was also thinking that i need to do video updates once a week posting weight and measurements so that everyone can see the results.  plus the support from all my friends and family would be a fantastic driving force.

tomorrow i fly out to St. Louis, MO.  i'll be staying at a nice hotel and the venue where our presentation will be held is super nice.  i'll update once i get back.  peace.

July 26, 2011


This was uploaded on my HTC EVO using the Blogger app.  Let's see how good it is.

Friday afternoon most of the team had flown in to Tacoma and settled in.  A handful of us decided to grab some lunch before heading into downtown Seattle to enjoy the night.  Since we didn't have to set up till Sunday, we definitely took advantage of the night.  Seattle is nice if you enjoy the "city vibe".  Many late night venues cater to the swarms of youngins looking to drink, dance and demoralize themselves.  Overall the people are nice.  Saturday I slept in and took it easy.  I meandered around the hotel and walked up and down the street to see what was around and get a lil exercise.  I definitely miss mountain biking and will be hitting the trails much harder than I was before.  I am trying to figure out a way to get a guitar on the tour with me.  I was told it can ride in the semi truck and now I want to see if my bike can come along too!  (fingers crossed)

Set up on Sunday went VERY well.  At 7:30am we started to unload the truck and set everything up.  We were done by noon.  This is quite impressive and I must give credit to the awesome team I get to work with.  These people work hard and get it done.  On my end, set up of the audio/visual stuff went quickly because I am familiar with everything now.  All the equipment is right where I left it and I expedited the set up by leaving a bunch of stuff inside the home audio rack connected.  After set up was complete I asked the producer how I have been doing and he said, "EXCELLENT!  Better than I expected!"  That made my day!  I have been working hard and being a team player as much as possible.  Glad to see it getting noticed.  We chatted further and he had mentioned that before he was promoted out of the position I now hold, he was making 80K a year for a handful of years.  My plan is to make that much within 10yrs of being here.  LET'S DO THIS!

Yesterday was the first day of presentations and time seemed to go by quickly.  Four of us decided to hit up a seafood restaurant for dinner, so we quickly changed at the hotel and departed.  The food was fantastic.  I'm pretty sure we all four went back to the hotel and went to bed early. 

This morning I woke up around 5am and got ready.  I then made my way down to the hotel lobby and waited for the breakfast area to open.  Hotel breakfasts aren't that good, but it's something, and it's free.  After eating and departing the hotel we arrived at the Tacoma Dome where the convention is being held.  They are building a really cool looking museum right next to the dome.  It will be interesting to come back here and walk through the museum at some point.

As I was prepping for the day I overheard one of the presenters talking to my producer about something that peaked my interest.  The conversation was about suicide and I had caught the end of it.  I politely asked who the presenter was talking about and he said, "my younger brother."  The comparison of his situation to my family's was scary.  We were soon lost in deep conversation about the mourning process and how other people sometimes avoid you when they hear the word suicide.  He put it like, "It's weird when some people learn of a suicide in your family.  They avoid you almost as if they don't want to get a disease."  I can relate to his comment.  Sometimes, however it goes the other way and someone decides to explain to you how stupid and selfish that person was for making that decision.  blah blah blah....   Back to my point.  You never know what someone else is going through and how much you might have in common.  It was great to talk to him about his situation and get to know him on a level other than the show.

I am currently in the middle of our afternoon show and will be working a third show from 6pm-8pm regarding roadside assistance for the Chevy Volt.

July 19, 2011

still standing.

well folks, day one is over and i am relaxing in my beautiful hotel room once again.  it was a very long day.  left the hotel at 7am, unloaded the tents and outside stuff in the 1 million square foot lot, then headed inside and started unloading all the main room and break-out room and registration equipment.  i then proceeded to set up the projectors and get them dialed in then moved onto the audio side of things.  hooked up the main audio rack, mixer and FM transmitter and set up all my speakers and sub.  tested it out and....... perfect.  sounds fantastic.  on to the lights.  i raised the tree and hooked the dimmer board up and.... nothing.  boo.  so i lowered the lights down and decided i should probably open all the shutters on each light.  haha... silly me.  as i was adjusting one of the LEKOs, the back fell off and broke the bulb.  "son of a...."  someone forgot to tighten the back plate of the light thus resulting in me picking up shards of glass and bleeding.  that's when i decided to go get my gloves on.  timing is everything.  before we know it, it's noon and time for lunch.  we had a "walking lunch" which means we get to leave the property and fend for ourselves.  so four of us hopped in my rental car and made it a "driving lunch".  went to a roadside mexican place and ate some very good food.  mmmm  it was awesome.  they had three different juices in large "pour-your-own" jugs for you to try.  watermelon, cantaloupe, and pineapple.  OH MY GOSH!!!  those were SO good.  tasted just like biting into the fruit.  super refreshing and delicious.  we finished devouring our meals and went back to work.  around 4:30pm the tour leader started sending all the hired hands away and i was hurrying to finish up.  the tour leader (used to have my current position) then helped me out for the last hour and we knocked out the three break-out rooms.  each room as their own little sound system and plasma with laptop.  everything went pretty well and i can't wait to start the day tomorrow.  all i'll have to do is power everything up, test it, and chill.  mmmm.... love my job.  of course if something goes wrong i'll have to actually DO something.  but that's okay, it will break up my day nicely! :)  i will be uploading the before and after pics so you can see how much we actually set up.  it's quite impressive for a day's work.  im about to go to bed so i'll see you all tomorrow.

July 18, 2011

i say "um".

July 12, 2011


im currently sitting in the philly international airport waiting to board my flight home.  there are a few problems with this and a few good things about it.  the good thing is that im gunna be home for a few more days and fly out to L.A. this sunday.  they cut me early because i no longer needed to be there hanging around.  i got everything i needed to know and they said i am all set and ready for L.A.   that means confidence... IN ME!  it was definitely great to hear.  the few bad things about this is that it is 2:37pm and i am waiting for my plane that is scheduled to board at 6:06pm.  yeah, i'll be waiting here for four hours.  but wait, there's more!  when i checked in the "checker-inner-guy" said the flight is running an hour behind!  WOOHOO!  so here i am, for five hours, waiting for my rocket to come.  (jason mraz reference there)  at least i'll have plenty of time to finish all my invoicing and get some notes together for L.A.  please feel free to call me if you'd like, i could use the conversation!  :)  take care everyone

finally a breather

we got a good jump on the day early this morning just like yesterday.  first i did a walk through and made sure all the equipment booted up okay.  secondly i ran the presentations on all five laptops to make sure they were flawless.  everything ran as planned.  today was a rehearsal for the show.  a "dummy" group walked through the entire presentation and it took about four hours.  we ate lunch and i got to sit with the lead audio engineer for this team and discuss his way of troubleshooting certain problems.  i took a ton of notes.

i feel MUCH more prepared now than i ever have.  i feel that i can now make my production flow smoothly.

i have not been sleeping very well for some reason and today it all finally caught up with me.  thank god we had a short day and were able to return to our hotel rooms at 4:30pm.  i decided to take a two hour nap.  it is now 12:39am tuesday morning and i am about to go to bed.

tomorrow i will be assisting the lead engineer during the show.  lets hope everything goes smoothly.

July 11, 2011


If you would like to be able to see my traveling plans on my Google Calendar, please send me a message with your email address. (gmail addresses will work best, if you have one)

Have a great day everyone!  :)

Philly Day 2

6am came early this morning as I didn't sleep all that well last night.  i quickly decided to make some coffee to help wake me up.  hotel room coffee isn't anything to get excited about but i was relying on getting that little caffeine boost to get my day started.  

all i found was decaf... good morning to me.

skipping the brew, i decided to take a quick shower.  that did the trick.

we all met up in the lobby of the hotel and hopped in the rental cars to the convention center in King of Prussia, PA.  this place is huge.  the "drive team" quickly unloaded half of the semi trailer and started setting up the tents in the parking lot.  the semi then backed up to the Main Room of the convention center and my team unloaded the rest of the equipment in record time.  without a beat the guys had a great jump start on setting up all the screens and draping for the stage area.  i proceeded to assist the head technician of this Philly show by setting up the audio/visual equipment in the 3 break-out rooms.  everything looks fantastic and runs flawlessly.  it's great to take a step back at the end of the day and sigh knowing that you worked hard to make it happen.  the chevy volt is a fantastic car.  there are many neat features and some that i don't understand what in the world the designers were thinking.  like storing the charge cable under a panel in the floor of the trunk. 

imagine with me if you will...

you take a long trip with your spouse and two kids.  decide it's getting late and turn off the freeway to bunk down in a hotel for the night.  the hotel has designated "charge parking spaces" for your vehicle for another $30 a night.  you NEED to charge your vehicle so you have no choice but to pony up the dough.  you then proceed to remove the few items you need to stay overnight.  not all your baggage, just a few.  BUT WAIT!  you need to charge your car as well.  might as well unload the vehicle because the charge cable is stored under a large floor panel in the trunk.  not so, "easily accessible" if you ask me.   OH SURE!  if you don't travel with any luggage then you will be fine.

other than "little" issues like that the vehicle is pretty neat.

it is now time for me to go to bed.  tomorrow we will meet in the hotel lobby at 6:15am and head over to the convention center to meet with the clients (chevy personnel).  they will be given the complete tour and everything should go smoothly.  

i will be taking detailed notes on some areas of the set up so that i can easily mimic the set-up in Los Angeles.  

okay, time for bed.  see you all tomorrow.

p.s. i wanted to add a video in this blog however the internet connection im using decided otherwise.  i'll put it in the next blog if i can.

July 10, 2011

Philly Day 1


I decided to enjoy the 2 weeks prior to leaving for Philadelphia for the new job.  I had a fantastic time hanging out with a bunch of friends, going to a Tiger's game, bonfires, mountain biking and a whole bunch of other things.  I am going to miss all of that while I am away.  However I will be keeping you all up to date on what is happening while I am on the road... er in the air.  So hold on tight, cuz here we go!


I started my trip off just like every other excursion I've ever endeavored with last minute packing.  I literally took clothes out of the dryer, folded them, put them in the suitcase and walked out the door.  I forgot nail clippers.  It took me 35 minutes to drive to the airport and another 35 to check in, go through security and get to my gate.  I'm a pro at this traveling stuff.  We boarded the plane and waited.. and waited.  Ends up some of our baggage hadn't been loaded yet and the pilot kept apologizing over the PA.  "Sorry folks, this is not acceptable.  I would encourage you to send some emails to Delta voicing any frustration with the delay."  So that's what I am going to do.  Maybe I can get something out of it.  We finally took off and the flight was nice and problem free.  well.. almost.

The girl seated at my right was wearing long jean shorts and I quickly noticed her leg hairs were longer than mine.  This was gross.  Especially because plane seating is tight and I'm a big guy.

It was only a matter of time until our legs made contact in a 

I landed and quickly made my way to the baggage claim to find my suitcase on the belt right then.  Perfect.  I was set to go.  Shuttle to the rental car place, drive off in a brand new Impala with Betsy.  Betsy is a very nice woman whom I'll be working with for a few days.  After a 45min drive we arrived at the Holiday Inn Express in King of Prussia, PA.  This is a nice hotel.  I have my own suite with two large HD LCD tvs, couch, table, fridge, and two air conditioners.  I can get used to this.  The entire team is staying at the same hotel so it is easy to get to know everyone.  Everyone decided to go grab a quick bite, however the only place in walking distance was Hooters.  gross.  The food is NOT good and I'm not much for the..."scenery".  I ordered carry-out and spent the last couple hours in the hotel room getting settled in.

Tomorrow I will go to Wal-Mart and stock the fridge with healthy dinner and breakfast stuff. 

I have to be down in the hotel lobby at 6:45am to meet up with everyone and head to the production site.  My team will be unloading all the trucks and getting all of the gear opened and start setting up.  I will be assisting the head a/v tech for the next few days.  Pilot show is this Tuesday!

I will be updating my blog every night of my tour.

June 16, 2011

...bigger and better?


transitions can be fantastic.  many times in life when we are going through transitions we are changing for the better.  we have decided to leave behind a certain people, place or lifestyle for our betterment.  maybe a relationship that has lost it's glitz and glamour or simply our daily regiment of: wake up, shower, shoes, breakfast, work, home, dinner, tv, sleep etc.

transitions can be terrifying at the same time.  as we walk out of that relationship we sometimes fear if we threw away something special.  as we change our daily regiment to: wake up, breakfast, workout, shower, shoes, work, home, workout, dinner, family time, sleep, we fear that we won't hold to it.

a few weeks ago i met up with an old friend.  we used to be best friends and played in Semper-Fi together.  we did the typical 'catching up' talk.  he asked what i did for work and if i was happy.  i responded with, "im..... content."  and he said, "that's not what i asked.  are you happy?"  so i obviously replied, "no."  he proceeded to tell me about a job opportunity that he had been offered and turned down.  explained a bit about it and asked if i were interested.  i asked him to get me more info.

the next day i got a call from a guy who wanted to explain the job offer to me.
two days later i went and visited the company and discussed some major details.
a week later i called and told him i would like to accept the job.

which puts me right smack dab in the middle of a major transition.  
a great opportunity? yes! but a frightening one at the same time.  

i am currently still working at my old job and spending random days at the new job going over different things.  this is very awkward and i wouldn't recommend it to anyone.  i wanted to give my old job as much time as possible to train and fill my position.  plus i would like to keep making money until i can start working at the new job full time in July.

the new job will be exciting.  i am very psyched about it.  i will be flying around the continental U.S. as the head a/v technician for Jackson-Dawson.  they put on events/shows for different things.  my first tour will be informative presentations for the Chevy Volt.  i will be traveling with 8-10 individuals and making these events happen flawlessly.  my new bosses are very nice and seem to have a good amount of common sense. (something my old boss seemed to lack greatly)  i have a feeling i could get used to this.

however, i still have my doubts.

what if things don't work out for some reason?  i mean, there are always chances for something to happen, right?  what if i don't "cut it"?  what if i do very well and the person above me feels threatened and wants to cut me loose?  what if i crash in a plane?  (this seriously crossed my mind)  i will be flying to three different places a month.  philly, l.a., phoenix, denver, minneapolis....

i've never been the risk taker in life for fear that shit will go sour and i'll be known as the guy who screwed up royally.  

i was watching a movie the other day and a few lines in the dialogue really jumped out at me.  the lead character was always known as a smart guy who graduated M.I.T. and was working at a movie rental store.  he never knew what he wanted to do for fear he would screw up.  he had a break-down moment while talking to his father and said, "im sorry... im sorry, im your only son... the failure!"  and his dad said, "no son, you aren't a failure at all.  because to be a failure you have to make an attempt at something.  but you haven't even done that.  you aren't even a failure... you're... worse than that."  putting aside the satire, this scene really hit me... hard.  

i can't even be a failure unless i try.
so im.......  a nothing.

this transition is me taking a step.  even if it is the wrong one in the end.  

at least im stepping toward something.

March 13, 2011

...and eat it too

this is in response to a friend's post found HERE - by: Kristen Cristino

Kristen started off asking how women have become the ones to court men instead of the old fashioned, other way around.  i personally feel that this has changed over time with the feminist movements.  i am not sexist in any way and hope that this text truly reveals my point.  the feminist movement is good in few ways and harmful in many areas that people don't think of first hand.  you can't demand a "level playing field" and be upset that males aren't still holding up their end as they did before.  remember for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.  it's either one way, or the other.  there is no way to have it both ways in this world so let us take a second to delve into this thought.

i'll start off saying that there will always be prejudice individuals.  no matter what.  just like there will always be thieves and liars.  it is the evil nature that some people cannot overcome.  i am, in no way, excusing this behavior.

the uproar for females to be treated the same as males is silly.  not because women are inferior but because they simply play different roles in life that men can't.  just the same as men play certain roles that women cannot.  we are not designed with the same physical characteristics nor thought processes.

now that women have cried out for "equal" rights and are being accepted as men are in certain situations they get confused.   no longer are the lines or boundaries defining the roles of a man or a woman.

GIRL POWER is a term that makes me laugh sometimes.  i think it's funny when a girl thinks that she can physically out perform a male.  now i know there are exceptions to every situation or rule, however lets keep it simple and stay with majorities here.  girls are physically weaker than men.  so what POWER are the girls claiming?  im sorry girls but there are things you just can not do.  AND THAT'S OKAY!  it isn't what you are designed to do.  it goes the same for the opposite side as well.  so don't feel like im attempting to suppress your accomplishments.

back to the power thing.  i think it is more so respect than power that you desire.  respect and recognition.  there is nothing wrong with respect and recognition however, both of those things are earned and requested, not demanded.

moving forward.  you are finally brought up to the same "level" as men.  you are a strong independent woman.  you don't need a man to do anything for you except open the new jar of peanut butter.

(this really happened to me.  the girl who lived in the neighboring condo knocked on my door and asked if i could open the peanut butter for her.  i did so and felt like a hero because i am a silly, strong, doofus of a man.)

lets take a look at it from a male's perspective.  hold on, it gets confusing from this side.  we have to guess how to handle certain situations.  we want to do the manly thing but at the same time wonder if we are going to get told off by a strong independent woman.  holding the door for a girl is a nice gesture.  so why bite our heads off by having the attitude of, "i don't NEED a man to do this for me.  i can open my own damn door!".

im all about the old fashioned courting methods.  if a girl that i had been seriously dating asked me to marry her....  i would be weirded out.  that is MY job as a man.  to nervously request for her hand in marriage.  to get down on one knee and lower myself below her, showing her respect and love.

i agree that the days of proper courtship have long gone, but lets dig to the root of the problem and decide to not make those mistakes again.  you can't have it both ways so stop trying to get it.  let's fully think about the repercussions of things that we want to change.  we are too short sighted and it hurts us in the long run.

...don't know jack


the main entry door to the shop i work in has been broken since we opened a year ago.  i finally received the go-ahead to purchase a new lock mechanism and swap out the old one.  this past friday, while sitting on a five gallon bucket of motor oil, i repaired the lockset.  while doing so a truck driver walked by and said, "so you're a maintenance man too, eh?"  "nope." i replied.  "i am the shop supervisor.  this just really needs to be done right now."  and he returned with, "so you're a jack of all trades and a master of none." and continued into the shop.

i've heard this a handful of times in my life and im not sure how to take it exactly.

yes it means that jack is skilled in many different areas of in everyday life.  on the other hand it also means that he hasn't mastered any of those areas.  inadequately educated in all of the areas he holds to be important in his life.  would you say a doctor is a jack of all trades or a master in his professional field?  who cares if said doctor can't change a lockset on an industrial door.  he can diagnose abnormalities in the human body.

don't get me wrong, if we didn't have locksmiths we would all have broken doors.  but isn't that locksmith the master of his field just as the doctor is a master of the medical?  not some jack who simply learned how to do it because it needed to be done.  no.  he is the master schlage, the king of the kwikset.

picture this.  you book a trip to europe and board the 747.  as your plane is being taxied to the runway a voice is heard over the intercom. "ladies and gentlemen we want to thank you for choosing to fly with us today.  our regular pilot couldn't make the trip with us but don't worry, we found someone who has done it a few times and can probably get us their safely.  please sit back and enjoy the flight."


you would be running for the emergency exits located at the front, middle and rear of the cabin.

i guess my frustration isn't in what the phrase is saying as much as it is in what the phrase ISN'T saying.  now i know that i would be hearing what i want when i start to think along those lines.  but isn't that the way it usually goes?  i think most of the time more is said by what we don't say than what we do.

when i hear someone call me a jack of all trades, master of none i feel like they are saying...

"congratulations.  you have managed to get by without really applying yourself in any one area."


maybe im being too hard on myself.  but if i weren't, who would be?  many times it is said that an artist is his own worst critic.  for me i feel that it forces me to be 100% satisfied with what i create.  but it is not always so.  i am not always satisfied with my performance and get frustrated.  being a selective perfectionist is hell

please keep your back handed compliments to yourself.

January 2, 2011

the ride

here you go again
not knowing where you'll end... up
come down from your ledge
the long way
and enjoy the ride

you and i
we're gunna ride
this out

you and i
we gotta ride
this out

they say, but don't know
the feeling of being so... low
fuck em for thinking
that they even know
how to enjoy the ride

you and i
we're gunna ride
this out

you and i
we gotta ride
this out